Schools Struggle with 'Stay in School' Broadcast

School administrators across the country are under attack as they decide whether or not to show a national broadcast from Steve the Puppet Master, who intends to deliver a message about the importance of staying in school.

Talk radio shows were devoted to the topic this week, as callers and hosts have called for a ban on the Internet broadcast.

“Teachers have no right forcing children to hear this message,” said Jon Krakower, host of I Am Jon Krakower in St. Paul, Min. “I have no idea what this man is going to say, but I don’t believe it is a message that students should be subjected to.”

Steve the Puppet Master, whose real name is Steve, is surprised by the controversy.

“I’ve been visiting elementary schools in the greater Tucson area for twenty years. My sister bought me a Mac for Christmas, and I figured out how to put my show online when my sciatica flared up,” he said.

Steve’s show includes such puppet characters as “Doug the Sheep Dog,” “Pete the Confused Pirate,” and “Tecate the Chihuahua.”

“Kids just love the show,” Steve said. “Never had any complaints before, well, except for the 1st grade incident in Nogales, but that was just some incorrect translations to Spanish.”

“Look, as a parent, it should be my decision to have my kids hear this message,” Krakower said. “If I want to shove my hand up a stuffed animal or in a sock and talk about staying in school, then that should be my God-given role as a parent, not Steve the Puppet Master. Who the hell is Steve the Puppet Master. How do I even know that Steve the Puppet Master is qualified to deliver such a message?”

Steve confirmed that he graduated from high school and completed two years of theater classes at a community college.

“Solid 2.9 GPA. Best years of my life, and I think kids can learn from that,” he said.

In the meantime, school administrators are struggling with the decision to show Tuesday’s broadcast despite public outcry.

“It’s a message we always try to deliver to students,” said Diane Connelly, principal of Pioneer Elementary in Las Vegas. “We’ve had Ronald McDonald speak, Dennis Rodman, Pamela Anderson. The kids love hearing from famous people, except for the ones who are scared of Ronald McDonald. But mostly, it’s pretty powerful. I was expecting the same from Steve the Puppet Master. Can't we all?”